My Cooking Phobia

B's sisters whipping up a batch of shrimp ceviche

When I first met my husband I didn't know how to cook very well.  So when he told me how much of a seafood person he was you can imagine my reaction.  I was not thrilled to say the least.

I have a cooking phobia, for some reason I always feel like I am performing on a stage in front of thousands of people.  Whenever it is up to me to whip something up for guests, or my husband, I get stage-fright tears and all. 

Well, it's been over three years now since I first met my husband and after figuring out how to remove the head of a shrimp without squeezing all of it's brains out I think I've made progress.  I must defend my husband and everyone around me in saying that the person putting all of the pressure on me was myself.  My husband never made me cook, or made me feel bad when something didn't come out quite right.

I will have to say that my upbringing included everything Mexican except the fact that I was a girl and was hardly ever in the kitchen.  My father (father was the strict one) always allowed me to do all of the outside chores and play in the dirt as much as I wanted as long as I was doing good in school.  I paid dearly for making those choices as a young child because later on in life I felt very insecure about not being able to cook.

I would always say, put me in front of a computer, in a car, an office, behind a lawn mower and I could get the job done.  But put me in a kitchen and I went straight for the back door.  I was very upset for a long time that I allowed myself to be ignorant in the kitchen.  When I wanted very much to have dinner parties and couldn't supply the food myself it became very frustrating.  I wanted to fill everybody's tummies with delicious food of my doing and hear laughter in my home. 

In 5 de Mayo, I know that food will have to be prepared everyday.  For one because the choices of eating out are very limited, two it would probably get to be 'spensive and third it gets tiring after a while.  My heart so desires to be with my husband but I also know that with that comes an entirely different way of living. 

My current daily routine involves an 8-4:30 job Monday through Friday.  Sit in traffic for a couple hours each day to get to and from work and then once I get home I'm pooped out.  I have always gone to school, worked or both.  I was never a housewife, and I feel that I may start having withdraws once I settle down in 5 de Mayo. 

So what's this all boil down to?  The clock is ticking and pretty soon I will have to hold my own.  I am not as bad as I used to be about cooking.  I have recently learned several recipies and would like to start sharing them with some of you to show that even the most unskilled cook can whip something up that is pretty fantastic. 

What was the reason behind this post?  I was asked to make a chile for a carne asada (bbq) tomorrow and I felt very honored that I made something so good that I was being requested to make it again.  This may seem frivolous to many but for me it is a grand accomplishment.

Would you like some authentic Mexican cooking where everything is done ranchero style?  If so you have come to the right place because I think I will share what I am learning in hopes to hear everything I'm doing wrong, what I might add, or that somebody else liked it too.

In the process I hope to crush this cooking phobia once and for all.